Jokes

[nasirahmed]

Three IBM employees were a long car trip when they got a flat tire. After the stop and studied the situation the Sales Rep. said, "That does it! We need a new car!!". The Service Rep. said, "Wait! Let's switch some parts around until it works again". The Software Rep. said, "No, just turn the car off and on to see that fixes the problem".

[nasirahmed]

For computer nuts who also love to cook, there is a book by Diane Pfeifer called quick bytes: Computer Lover's Cook Book. It contains recipes computer fanatics can relate to, such as
Quaca-Modem Dip
Lettuce 1-2-3
Curd Perfect

[nasirahmed]

I work for the Passenger Sales Department of an Airline. Once the cargo manager asked me to fill in and gave me a list of rates to European Destinations. "If you get a telephone inquiry," he explained, "the rates are all in US Dollar per kilo". As soon as he left, the phone rang. "How much does it cost to get to London?" the caller asked. I checked the rate. "That would be $4.53 per kilo" I replied. He paused then said, "I'm approximately 186 lbs. Can you compute the total cost for me?"

[yasin_shafi]

Title Says JOKES, You Are Trying To Kill Us Of Boredom.

Your Jokes Are As Funny As Toothache ;-)

Best Regards
Yasin
(We Lead Others TRY To Follow)

[Dave.W]

what do you call a man with no shins?

tony

[Dave.W]

what do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?

eileen

[doru1979]

THE JOURNEY OF A MAN !
>
> When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
> When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion.
> So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
> In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide.
> So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
> When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
> When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.
> So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
>
>
> I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

[doru1979]

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD <http://nosmoke.com/> NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

[ToP DawG]

^^^^ nOW THATS FUNNY^^^^^^^^

[nasirahmed]

@doru1979

Thats so funny

[nasirahmed]

Apple had a new computer under development. Their project name for it was "Carl Sagan" (I don't know why).

When the real Carl Sagan learned about this, he was upset. He demanded that Apple stop using his name, even for their private, internal projects.

Apple agreed. They changed the name of the project to "Butthead Astronomer".

[nasirahmed]

Two computer programmers are driving on a Highway. They switch on the radio and there is a warning: Please note that a car is driving on highway 75 against the traffic. The programmer near the driver looks at him and says: One? There are hundreds of them.

[nasirahmed]

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House" in French, is feminine -"la maison," "Pencil" in French, is masculine "le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French dictionary.

So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheque on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine "le computer") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model.

[davdo]

Originally Posted by nasirahmed

For computer nuts who also love to cook, there is a book by Diane Pfeifer called quick bytes: Computer Lover's Cook Book. It contains recipes computer fanatics can relate to, such as

Quaca-Modem Dip
Lettuce 1-2-3

Curd Perfect

hellow mr h r u this time tell me about the mathod of
best repairing can u help me in this matter

[davdo]

hellow sir obaid hr u this time do u know about mt sim which
can easiely unlock all bb5 sets .u know tell me the mathod of this sim.